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Haddayr Copley-Woods [userpic]

What a Minnesotan really means

January 28th, 2012 (02:35 pm)

Having lived in Minnesota for more than 18 years now, and influenced by the table of Britishisms explained, I have decided to go into public service. You're welcome, transplants to Minnesota!

What a Minnesotan SaysWhat s/he meansWhat the transplant thinks
"I'll get right on that!"I will never do this.This will be done very quickly!
"Um, I guess that might be okay."No.Yes.
"That's different."I hate that.He likes my unusual choices!
"Maybe you should think about . . ."DROP EVERYTHING AND DO THIS NOW.She's offering me her thoughts.
[longish pause] "Yeah, that's [smallish pause] good!"That is disgusting. Do not ever order this under any circumstances.What I am about to order at this restaurant is good and I will enjoy it.
"It's a mite nippy out!"It is 30 degrees below zero with a wind chill of minus 60.Perhaps I should put on a sweater!
"Wow! It was so nice to meet you!"Goodbye.I made a great impression on that guy!
"This was a great conversation. We will definitely get back in touch with you!"Get the fuck out of my office and thank you for wasting my time.I TOTALLY nailed that interview!
"You know, other guys might shovel the snow downwind."Oh Christ you are an idiot.He thinks I'm an idiot.
"Can you borrow me a dollar?"Will you loan me a dollar?What the hell is this person asking me? What is happening? i don't need to borrow a dollar someone help me
"Nice day, eh?"why do we live here this crushing hellish nightmare of my existence is best borne quietlyWow. This person thinks icy slush and hail is pleasant weather.
"Oh, I don't know about that . . ."You are wrong; you are completely talking out of your ass. If you don't stop talking about this I will punch you right in the jaw.This person does not know much about this topic or is very mildly disagreeing with me. I shall try to explain why I am right!
"Have a nice day."Goodbye.That person wants me to have a nice day!
"Have a super nice day!"Go fuck yourself.That person REALLY wants me to have a nice day!


Comments

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Posted by: C. C. Finlay (ccfinlay)
Posted at: January 30th, 2012 12:34 am (UTC)

I lol'd. Lose the occasional "eh" and I think most of these apply to most of the Midwest.

Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you.

Posted by: Naomi (naomikritzer)
Posted at: January 30th, 2012 02:11 am (UTC)

I'm now trying to decide whether there's a Minnesotan equivalent to the Southern phrase, "bless your heart," which can mean any of the following:

* "Oh, my goodness your life is just terrible, you poor dear."
* "Oh, my goodness, you have created a terrible life for yourself through your atrocious choices, your pathetic idiot."
* "Fuck off."

As well as various other things, including, as far as I can tell, "look at that, we seem to still be in the same room and you seem to expect a response from me."

Posted by: diana_rajchel (theperfumer)
Posted at: January 30th, 2012 02:20 am (UTC)
evil humor

I am taking a screenshot of this, and posting it underneath my keyboard for easy reference.

Posted by: Terrie (terrie01)
Posted at: January 30th, 2012 03:07 am (UTC)

It's all true. So very, very true.

You forgot "Cold enough for ya?" which means "Ha! I'm tougher (and therefore more of a real Minnesotan) than you."

Also "Oh, it's nothing." which means "I worked my butt off" but which transplants seem to think means "I'm not being a bother."

Posted by: sdn (sdn)
Posted at: January 31st, 2012 03:14 am (UTC)

Wow, I would be miserable in Minnesota, considering how totally oblivious I am to subtlety.

Posted by: Haddayr Copley-Woods (haddayr)
Posted at: January 31st, 2012 03:32 am (UTC)

Well, the thing is once you learn the language it isn't remotely subtle!

It only takes . . . um . . . 18 years. :-P

Posted by: Nachman (468mhz)
Posted at: February 1st, 2012 10:15 pm (UTC)
What a Minnesotan really means

What a Minnesotan Says: "You're from Iowa."
What s/he means: "You drive like sh*t."
What the transplant thinks: "I'm not from Iowa."

What a Minnesotan Says: "You're from Outstate, aren't you?"
What s/he means: "You voted for Michelle Bachmann."
What the transplant thinks: "Yes, I moved here from out of state."

Posted by: Jackie Wones (little_octagon)
Posted at: February 3rd, 2012 04:56 pm (UTC)
WigletME

Thanks a LOT, Haddayr. This TOTALLY harshes on any and all buzzes of mine about Minnesotans.

I WAS planning a trip to Minneapolis, but after this I'm going to someplace where the residents' contempt is transparent (eg, Philly or Boston)

Posted by: Haddayr Copley-Woods (haddayr)
Posted at: February 3rd, 2012 05:02 pm (UTC)

HA!

Have a super nice day, and I hope you enjoy Boston!

Posted by: Jackie Wones (little_octagon)
Posted at: February 3rd, 2012 09:01 pm (UTC)
File 1

Wow! She must REALLY want me to go fuck myself!

Posted by: Haddayr Copley-Woods (haddayr)
Posted at: February 3rd, 2012 09:33 pm (UTC)
laughing

bwaaaaha ha ha ha ha

(okay, and since you don't know me IRL I have to make clear that I was joking and I think you're the bees knees.)

Posted by: Jackie Wones (little_octagon)
Posted at: February 3rd, 2012 09:39 pm (UTC)
Dork

Oh, I got the JK part, but I did not get the BK part...so thanks for the comment on both counts

Posted by: Haddayr Copley-Woods (haddayr)
Posted at: February 3rd, 2012 09:46 pm (UTC)

:-)

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