Warning: I found this commentary excruciating to research. May be very upsetting, especially for parents of African-American and/or autistic kids or any special-needs kids:

http://minnesota.publicradio.org/display/web/2012/03/07/woods/

The book is heeeeeeeeeere!

My friend, writing group comrade, and neighbor Will Alexander's debut novel GOBLIN SECRETS launches today. It is a very very very very very good book, and I think everyone should buy twelve copies. But don't take my word for it; ask Last Unicorn author Peter S. Beagle:

"Goblin Secrets is a knockout. It's an original, owing absolutely nothing to Tolkien, or to any of his descendants, disciples or imitators. As a lifelong sucker for theatre and books about theatre, I don't know a fantasy novel that's used performing and maskmaking in just that way."

If it's good enough to get a starred Kirkus review and it's good enough for Beagle, it's good enough for me. Actually that's not true. It's just good enough for me because it is so impossibly good.

Deeply interesting, absorbing, real world. Characters I believe in and care about. Masks. Theater. Goblins. Clockwork witches and walking houses and bridges people live on and magical traveling stages and masks and did I mention theater and masks?

I love this book. I love this man. I think you should read it. It is classified Middle Grade, but that is completely beside the point unless it makes you buy extra copies for your kids/cousins/nieces.

READ THIS AMAZING BOOK! You will thank me, later.

http://goblinsecrets.com/book.html

It closes March 18. Check it:
http://wiscon.dreamwidth.org/45921.html

Count on the Autism Society and the Autistic Self Advocacy Network to have a reasoned, calm, non-poo-flinging statement about the proposed changes in the DSM defining autism.

Co-signed, by the way. I think the definition should be changed and Asperger's is just another word for autism at a certain point on the scale and thus should not be a separate diagnosis, and that the scientists need to remember that their actions will have very real-world applications:

http://www.autism-society.org/news/in-the-news/the-joint-statement-of-the.html

Having lived in Minnesota for more than 18 years now, and influenced by the table of Britishisms explained, I have decided to go into public service. You're welcome, transplants to Minnesota!

What a Minnesotan Says	What s/he means	What the transplant thinks
"I'll get right on that!"	I will never do this.	This will be done very quickly!
"Um, I guess that might be okay."	No.	Yes.
"That's different."	I hate that.	He likes my unusual choices!
"Maybe you should think about . . ."	DROP EVERYTHING AND DO THIS NOW.	She's offering me her thoughts.
[longish pause] "Yeah, that's [smallish pause] good!"	That is disgusting. Do not ever order this under any circumstances.	What I am about to order at this restaurant is good and I will enjoy it.
"It's a mite nippy out!"	It is 30 degrees below zero with a wind chill of minus 60.	Perhaps I should put on a sweater!
"Wow! It was so nice to meet you!"	Goodbye.	I made a great impression on that guy!
"This was a great conversation. We will definitely get back in touch with you!"	Get the fuck out of my office and thank you for wasting my time.	I TOTALLY nailed that interview!
"You know, other guys might shovel the snow downwind."	Oh Christ you are an idiot.	He thinks I'm an idiot.
"Can you borrow me a dollar?"	Will you loan me a dollar?	What the hell is this person asking me? What is happening? i don't need to borrow a dollar someone help me
"Nice day, eh?"	why do we live here this crushing hellish nightmare of my existence is best borne quietly	Wow. This person thinks icy slush and hail is pleasant weather.
"Oh, I don't know about that . . ."	You are wrong; you are completely talking out of your ass. If you don't stop talking about this I will punch you right in the jaw.	This person does not know much about this topic or is very mildly disagreeing with me. I shall try to explain why I am right!
"Have a nice day."	Goodbye.	That person wants me to have a nice day!
"Have a super nice day!"	Go fuck yourself.	That person REALLY wants me to have a nice day!

I just finished reading my son The Tale of Despereaux. And when I got to the coda, Storyteller, I wept. Because right now, I am in a fair bit of darkness. (I am fighting it, like our hero, with needles -- not one brave needle pointed straight at a rat's heart with all of my might and passion, but with many ones: placed by a professional in proper acupuncture points.)

Storyteller, I did what you asked: I imagined, for a moment, you as a tiny mouse, telling me your story with the whole of your heart, whispering in my ear in order to to save yourself and me from the darkness. And I thought: yes. Yes. Stories ARE light. Storyteller, I did find some light there. I did.

Thank you for your letter which made it clear that your staff had not bothered to read my message regarding my horror at your support for the indefinite detention bill contained in the 2012 National Defense Authorization Act.

You wrote to me that "As Commander in Chief, I have no greater responsibility than keeping the American people safe."

You are incorrect. You have no greater responsibility than to uphold the Constitution of the United States of America. You swore an oath to protect it, and you are instead destroying one of its most important amendments.

I hate to break it to you guys, but there isn't one. That's why I'm home with a fever today instead of going out and doing the awesome fun things I had planned.

THANKS FOR RUBBING IT IN LJ

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS Thomas Fetterman, Inc. has tornado tips for canes now I AM GEEKING OUT SO MUCH
http://www.fetterman-crutches.com/tips/cane/

They also have the best ice/snow tips I have ever seen. Even if you only use a cane sometimes for stability on the ice or something I cannot recommend these enough. They look expensive but they last so long that you wind up saving money, and my tornado tips don't even slip on wet marble. Also they absorb impact so well your wrists will thank you.

I rarely use canes anymore at all but I'm considering getting a tip anyway.